...I think I'll stay this age for another ten years or so.
At any rate this year I was allowed to spoil myself somewhat. My girlfriend of course did a grand job of this by buying me not one, not two, not three but FOUR presents plus taking me out on a date. *squeels* My divine mother in law is making me a pig pecking cake (citrus summer cake), and giving me a gift. I also bought myself a new deck of tarot cards from House of Ravenwood in Yellow Springs. I decided to go with The Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr. Previously I had a good degree of success with the Shapeshifter deck by D.J. Conway and Lisa Hunt, but in my resurgence I've found myself more and more drawn to the divine feminine and relateable aspects of wicca than the stoicism and clerical aspects of druidry. I decided that working with the goddesses on a daily bases might help me to feel closer to them.
Unlike a lot of people I don't give a whole lot of credence to the traditional meaning of tarot cards. I know the basics of it but to me it seems like one card meaning the same thing (even when inverted) for everyone kind of glosses over why one reads the card in the first place. I tend to look at the card itself and discern meaning from the pictures and what they seem to say about the person I read for. My readings tend to deal more with direct consequence and personality then with future events and indiscernible/potential courses of action. What most people really look for in a reading is validation and confirmation of decisions they've already made. It really only tends to be the spiritually inclined that look for a deeper meaning or seeking out a new path.
Also, I've been having some weird dreams lately. Bar with me here cause this one requires some explanation.
1) I have a baseless fear just like most people. For my girlfriend it's zombies (which are somewhat more likely), for me it's werewolves. Let me specify, not shapeshifters but werewolves, those bestial mindless killing machines of popular horror. Typically in my dreams their stalking me, chasing me, or have me cornered and I wake up just before they loom in for the attack. I'm usually running like hell or trying to be quiet and not get caught. I'm always scared out of my mind as I watch the glowing eyes and teeth in the dark come for me. I've noticed that these dreams tend to crop up when I'm at a high stress point and I feel like everything is baring down on me from all sides. However a few nights ago, this dream took a different turn. I was in a large corn field going towards a village at the center. I was dressed all in black with a black cloak. I knew the werewolves were in the field, watching me from just out of my sight and when I lifted up my hand the corn balked and pushed away and the wolves receded further from me. I made it to the village where for some reason Laura (my wife) was being held captive. I had to bargain and coerce to get them to let her go, but when we started to leave the werewolves began to chase us. I managed to hide her in a hollow tree and told her not to leave until I came back for her. Then I ran. I ran down a pathway bordered on either side by large stone walls. The wolves came after me and when once reached out to take me (this is usually the point where I wake up sweating and checking the room for big looming animal figures), I turned around and started WAILING on him! I mean I was just taking my fists and punching and roaring and kicking as hard as I could till it's ears went flat on it's skull and it ran away from me. More were still coming, but then I woke up.
2) This dream I had last night. In it there was a tall, beautiful woman with hair that changed color. She was wearing a thin red cloth across her body and she was wreathed in fire. She glowed with light and whens he came down to me, she pushed me under water and held me there. When i opened my eyes I could see her above me and when i looked around it was all green and blue and bubbles.
Soooooo yeah. Interpret that.
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